othersideofwind (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
othersideofwind) wrote2006-01-18 08:32 pm
othersideofwind) wrote2006-01-18 08:32 pm
Entry tags:
Politicaly correctness
How to speak about men and women and be "Politically Correct"
How to speak about men and be "Politically Correct"
==========================================
1. He does not have a BEER GUT - He has a GRAIN BYPRODUCT STORAGE FACILITY.
2. He is not a BAD DANCER - He is OVERLY CAUCASIAN.
3. He does not GET LOST ALL THE TIME - He INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS.
4. He is not a CRADLE SNATCHER - He SEEKS GENERATIONALLY DIFFERENTIAL RELATIONSHIPS.
5. He does not get FALLING-DOWN DRUNK - He is prone to INVOLUNTARY GRAVITATIONAL STABILITY SYNDROME.
6. He does not act like a TOTAL ASS - He develops a case of RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION.
7. He is not a MALE CHAUVINIST PIG - He has SWINE EMPATHY.
8. He is not afraid of COMMITMENT - He is MONOGAMOUSLY CHALLENGED
How to speak about women and be "Politically Correct"
==========================================
1. She is not a BABE or a CHICK - She is a BREASTED CITIZEN.
2. She is not EASY - She is HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE.
3. She is not DUMB - She is a DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY.
4. She has not BEEN AROUND - She is A PREVIOUSLY ENJOYED COMPANION.
5. She is not an AIRHEAD - She is REALITY IMPAIRED.
6. She does not get DRUNK or TIPSY - She gets CHEMICALLY INCONVENIENCED.
7. She is not HORNY - She is SEXUALLY FOCUSED.
8. She does not have BREAST IMPLANTS - She is MEDICALLY ENHANCED.
9. She does not NAG YOU - She becomes VERBALLY REPETITIVE.
10. She is not a SLUT - She is SEXUALLY EXTROVERTED.
11. She does not have PREMIER LEAGUE HOOTERS - She is PECTORALLY SUPERIOR.
12. She does not HAVE A MOUSTACHE - She is IN TOUCH WITH HER MASCULINE SIDE.
13. She is not a BAD COOK - She is MICROWAVE COMPATIBLE.
How to speak about men and be "Politically Correct"
==========================================
1. He does not have a BEER GUT - He has a GRAIN BYPRODUCT STORAGE FACILITY.
2. He is not a BAD DANCER - He is OVERLY CAUCASIAN.
3. He does not GET LOST ALL THE TIME - He INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS.
4. He is not a CRADLE SNATCHER - He SEEKS GENERATIONALLY DIFFERENTIAL RELATIONSHIPS.
5. He does not get FALLING-DOWN DRUNK - He is prone to INVOLUNTARY GRAVITATIONAL STABILITY SYNDROME.
6. He does not act like a TOTAL ASS - He develops a case of RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION.
7. He is not a MALE CHAUVINIST PIG - He has SWINE EMPATHY.
8. He is not afraid of COMMITMENT - He is MONOGAMOUSLY CHALLENGED
How to speak about women and be "Politically Correct"
==========================================
1. She is not a BABE or a CHICK - She is a BREASTED CITIZEN.
2. She is not EASY - She is HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE.
3. She is not DUMB - She is a DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY.
4. She has not BEEN AROUND - She is A PREVIOUSLY ENJOYED COMPANION.
5. She is not an AIRHEAD - She is REALITY IMPAIRED.
6. She does not get DRUNK or TIPSY - She gets CHEMICALLY INCONVENIENCED.
7. She is not HORNY - She is SEXUALLY FOCUSED.
8. She does not have BREAST IMPLANTS - She is MEDICALLY ENHANCED.
9. She does not NAG YOU - She becomes VERBALLY REPETITIVE.
10. She is not a SLUT - She is SEXUALLY EXTROVERTED.
11. She does not have PREMIER LEAGUE HOOTERS - She is PECTORALLY SUPERIOR.
12. She does not HAVE A MOUSTACHE - She is IN TOUCH WITH HER MASCULINE SIDE.
13. She is not a BAD COOK - She is MICROWAVE COMPATIBLE.
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...якщо навіть мені місцеві ґоти кажуть, що я - на їхню думку - добре танцюю (домішуємо елементи нац. танців і все о-кей)...
...ну і про ірландську джигу вони, мабуть, не в курсі.
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